I wasn’t going to do much blogging on holiday shopping, but people keep asking me what kind of stuff I’m buying for Christmas gifts or what are good gifts to give that give back to people in need? So here it is… my brain dump on Christmas shopping. Yes, I call it Christmas shopping, not holiday shopping. I suppose we could also call it Black Friday shopping. It seems as though that’s become a bigger holiday than the actual Christmas holiday we’re shopping for.
Now that I think about it, these principals could apply all year long and to any holiday where it is customary to give a gift. Birthdays and Christmas are the two big ones.
So what gift shopping is considered good? Shopping in and of itself is not bad, it’s some of the things associated with it that are bad. Debt is bad. Buying gifts for people you don’t want to buy gifts for because you’ve succumbed to the cultural purchasing pressure is bad. Buying people stuff they don’t want or need is bad. Spoiling kids with a bunch of stuff they don’t need is bad. If it’s the thought that counts, then let’s think about it. There are many positive ways to shop, supporting good for humanity, the environment and for your pocketbook.
Service, not stuff.
You might believe our country is using up most of our planets’ resources and you might be trying to lower your carbon footprint as much as possible, or you might even think that’s all an bunch of hype. No matter which end of the spectrum you’re on, buying services versus physical goods is, well, all around good. Why?
- You’re supporting a skill or a trade.
- You’re helping the economy without physical stuff.
You don’t have to worry if the recipient likes your gift, and the best part? No looking around their house to make sure they’re using the item you gave them and no getting your feelings hurt when they tell you the dog broke it.- Maybe the gift recipients will get this concept too, then they won’t give you anymore giant golf ball candles, Chia pets or Santa figures that poop candy.
- Most service places have gift cards or gift certificates.
- It takes less time to shop because you can shop at places you do business while everyone else is in line at W*%#@!t.
- There’s a better chance they’ll have a need for a service than a need for more stuff. If you need something, or even want something, you go buy it, right? Why would your giftees be any different? Well, they could be unemployed. If that’s the case, they have needs, not wants.
So what are good services to buy? There are many choices here, some more practical than others. Some of these services could be provided by you, which means no cost to you other than your time.
- Babysitting
- House cleaning
- Manicure / pedicure
- Massage
- Baking or cooking
- Car repair or oil change
- Lawn care / landscaping
- Fun classes (computer, art, hobbies)
- Design services (home décor, website design, etc…)
- Handy-person services
- Tutoring
- Photo shoot
- Entertainment. No! Not that kind! That’s not good for the economy or your political career. I mean like the clown guy for your nephew’s birthday party or a band for your friend’s Christmas party.
- Video service for all those home movies to be converted
- Organizer / personal assistant
- HVAC maintenance service
- Plumber
- Electrician
- Lawyer or legal services. What? You might have a friend that needs that! It could happen.
- Hair stylist
- Dry cleaning or laundry services
- Tattoo and body piercing. What? You know you want a navel ring, so why wouldn’t your giftee want one too? (18 and older on this one though, you don’t want to get anyone in trouble)
- Tattoo removal… you know, in response to last year’s gift of a tattoo.
These are just some of the services I could think of off the top of my head. Just think about the services you use most frequently, see if they have gift certificates or gift cards, and your gift giving just got easier.
Gifts that give back.
I have some friends that are only giving gifts that give back to communities or people in need. In this day and age, there are a lot of philanthropic and crowdfunding choices when it comes to gift giving. Here’s my 2 favorites:
Kiva – kiva.org – A description from Kiva’s website, “We are a non-profit organization with a mission to connect people through lending to alleviate poverty. Leveraging the internet and a worldwide network of microfinance institutions, Kiva lets individuals lend as little as $25 to help create opportunity around the world.”
Basically, if you give a $25 gift card, your giftee can loan that money to the cause of their choice. Once the loan is repaid, they can loan it out again or cash it out and keep the money.
TOMS shoes – tomsshoes.com – As frugal as I am, my friends find it odd that I will spend $50 on a pair of shoes. TOMS has a one for one model. If you buy a pair of shoes, someone in need gets a pair of shoes. The shoes are not the most durable shoes, but they are super-comfortable and fun. I like the artsy nature of them and that you can paint them. I’m thinking about buying a pair of sparkly TOMS so my son won’t wear them. Yes, I know, I’ll buy him his own pair.
Here are a few others I’m familiar with, either I’ve used them or I know someone who has.
Heifer International – heifer.org – Buy and animal for a family in need to help fight poverty and hunger.
Indie Go Go – indiegogo.com – Help support creativity and causes you’re passionate about.
Kickstarter – kickstarter.com – Fund and follow creativity.
Project 7 – project7.com – Products for good. (For every purchase of a Project 7 product, some good is done in seven areas of need – Feed the Hungry, Heal the Sick, Hope for Peace, 
House the Homeless, Quench the Thirsty, Teach them Well and Save the Earth.)
Pick your own cause. What are you passionate about? Search it out on the internet and I’ll bet you find at least one gift idea around it.
Note: When choosing a gift of this nature, make sure you know where your “good” dollars or deeds are going. For example, TOMS shoes. They are a for profit model, but you know if you buy a pair of shoes, a person that needs shoes will get a pair as well. You can look on their website and see what they look like and where they’re going. Beware of the products or services that say “a portion of this will go to…” unless they say what or how much. The old style of “just do it because I said it’s good” doesn’t work anymore. If .0001% of your purchase goes to something good, that’s just not doing a lot, but it’s enough to keep the company out of trouble for false advertising.
If you’re using an online service or website, make sure it’s a reputable one. Unfortunately there are some scams out there, but there are many great organizations that are doing a lot of good!
Handcrafted gifts.
This is a lost art. When you mention handcrafted gifts, there are a lot of people that cringe, as they’re having a flashback of that sweater grandma knitted and they had to wear every year until they outgrew it. There’s a few things to consider when giving a handcrafted gift.
- Will the person like it? Sometimes you’re taking a chance here. You might be making a bunch of the same thing to give to all your giftees. People all have different tastes in what they like. Beauty is clearly in the eye of the beholder.
- If they don’t like it, does that mean they don’t like you? No. If your handmade gift being rejected will hurt your feelings, then it’s best not to give it. If you’re not sure, picture yourself walking through a thrift store and seeing something you made sitting on the shelf.
- Is it useful? This is helpful in deciding what to make for people. Most people can use things like a handmade journal or hot pads for their kitchen. Décor items are a personal taste thing, so you may want to avoid those.
Is repurposed stuff okay? If you make a planter out of an old book, that’s way better than a Chia pet! And if they get rid of it, no hurt feelings and it’s good for the environment. There’s lots of great things to make out of old stuff. (see the section on repurposed and used gifts)- Does the thought count? Yes, it does. So think, what does this person like? Tailor your handmade gift to their personality and likes.
- Why are you giving a handcrafted gift? For a lot of people, this is a time versus money thing or a saving money thing. For others, it’s creative gift giving or meaningful giving. Whatever your purpose, just give it with a good heart and no strings attached. If they get rid of it, that’s okay.
- Can you give a handcrafted gift made by someone else? Yes! This is actually a good way to support people making local crafts, or even global crafts.
Donate in someone’s name.
This is always a nice way to support your favorite causes or charities. You can donate money in your giftee’s name. What’s your favorite cause or charity? Instead of listing specific charities or causes, I’ll try to list a few topics.
- Homeless shelters
- Orphans
- Poverty
- Medical research
- Hunger
- Resources and environmental
- Justice
If you give to a local mission, keep in mind they need volunteers. Call your giftee after you’ve given the gift and go volunteer together. It’s a great way to spend sometime with someone you like while helping a community in need.
Gift cards.
There’s a lot of controversy as to whether or not gift cards make a good gift. Some people think they’re not personal and it takes all of the fun out of gift giving. On the other hand, they’re easy and people can get what they want. Retailers like them because some never get redeemed. That 100% profit for them. Last year (2010), according to Consumer Reports, 27% of gift cards did not get redeemed. Here’s my take on them.
I think gift cards are a good idea. If you really want to give a personalized gift, then you’re right, don’t get a gift card. If you’re really wanting the giftee to get what they want, let them choose it. You can give a gift card to their favorite store and they can purchase what they like. Or better yet, get them a Visa or Mastercard gift card so they can use it anywhere.
Here’s a couple scenarios to put it in perspective.
- You buy the person a gift from their favorite store. It’s not the one they wanted, so they return it and they’re trading it in on what they wanted in the first place.
- They get your gift and it’s not what they wanted. They’re afraid if they return it, it would hurt your feelings. Now they’re keeping it, not to use it, but as a token of your friendship. This is where a lot of clutter comes from.
- They have no idea where you got the gift, they don’t really want or need it, so they get rid of it. It might be regifted, donated to a thrift store or worst yet, end up in a landfill.
Now don’t get me wrong, you do have some buying skills. There’s a chance they could love your gift and keep it forever. Of all the gifts you got for Christmas last year, how many do you use? How many do you still have? Be honest!!! You probably can’t even remember a lot of what you got, if you remember any.
Another thing to think about with gift cards is that you can’t price shop them. If you buy a $25 gift card, you have to give the $25 gift card. You might have been able to find an item on sale for $15 to $20 and you would get the savings. Gift cards put the “sale shopping” in the hands of the giftee. You spent a little more, but they have the capability to make those dollars stretch further, if they choose to shop like that.
Gift cards can be a good thing, but they don’t have to be your thing.
Regifting.
Here’s some criteria I apply to re-gifting. Don’t judge me, we’ve all done it, I’m just choosing to publicly talk about it. ;)
- Everyone is different. The first thing you must know is that people are different. We all see things through our own life experiences and have our own opinions. In a situation where I might see regifting as keeping something unwanted out of a landfill, another person might see that as deplorable. I believe the thought process of seeing it as good or bad rests solely on the item itself. If we got an ugly tie or a cheesy gift set, we might see it as bad. What if we got a plasma tv or an iPad? It probably wouldn’t bother us as much.
- Shhh, it’s a secret. Let’s face it. If regifting was a really good idea, we wouldn’t make it secretive act of giving. It’s not the most socially acceptable thing to do, but we know it happens. Don’t ask, don’t tell. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
- Handmade regifts. A good rule on here is to never regift something handmade, especially if it was made by the person that gave it to you. It’s a small world. Too risky!
- Quick, set it out, mom is coming over! At some point, you should probably have a conversation with mom. My mom loves to buy lots of little useless stuff, and she’s very passionate about all of it. I had to have the big, ugly conversation that I don’t love lots of little plastic junk and please stop buying it for the kids and me. I give away pretty much everything she gives me. Even knowing that, she chose to give me more stuff. I don’t need a Swiss army umbrella, makeup or a crystal platter with a snowman on it. I still haven’t found a way to repurpose makeup.
- It’s the thought that counts. Gee, this comes up a lot, hey? If you’re going to regift, you need to be smart about it. The bottom line here is that it’s really not too nice, as it’s a way to dispose of a gift you don’t want while saving your own money not to buy a gift. In a few rare cases, you may get something you don’t want, but you know someone that would love to have it. You could regift in this situation and it would be good.
- A few etiquette rules. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Don’t regift to the person that gave it to you. I actually had someone do that to me. It felt bad. Also, don’t regift to the friend of a person that gave you the gift. Avoid the awkward situation of your friends even having to wonder if you’re a regifter. If you regift, don’t use the same wrapping paper (if it was wrapped) and make sure the item is still new.
Repurposed or used gifts.
It’s always seemed okay to give vintage gifts, but why not used gifts? Besides the cultural weirdness of it, retailers don’t make any money that way. Here are a few ideas around this sticky topic.
- Should you give used gifts? This is the really big question. In the past, giving something used was considered awful and in poor taste. In current times, with eBay, craigslist and freecycle, that has changed. My friend gave me a knit scarf for Christmas. Knowing how I am, she told me it was used and came from freecycle. Because of my beliefs and no retail shopping, that meant much more to me than if she had bought one at a store. And no, this is not the hideous one. This one is now my favorite scarf and it’s a great story to tell when I wear it.
- Don’t try to pass it off as new. This is where you lose gift points and a used gift becomes tacky. If it’s used, they should know that. It should be obvious in the packaging or communication of the gift.
- Repurposed items. I see these as a form of art. If a used item has been repurposed, it should be clear to the recipient that it’s repurposed. A wine bottle vase, a table made from random objects or an organizer made from a muffin pan. These are all completely acceptable. Like any other gift, when giving a repurposed gift, it’s the thought that counts. Give them something they’ll like, something repurposed to their personality or likes.
Random acts of giving.
This doesn’t really accomplish anything toward your shopping list, but it’s sure a great thing to do. Just go out and give something to somebody in need. You can do it anonymously or let them know it’s from you. I prefer to do things like this anonymously. Here’s a few ideas.
Pay a bill. There are a few things like this where you don’t need their account number. Or you can be sneaky and find it. ;)- Send a gas card or a grocery card.
- Get a group together and show up to clean someone’s house or do handy work.
- Cook a meal for someone.
- If you’re doing something to help a cause like collecting food for the food bank, offer to pick up items at friend’s houses.
- Give a gift card for an oil change.
- If you have a skill that would help others, give a freebie. For example, if you’re a photographer, take some family photos for someone.
Spending time.
If I have to give a gift (yes, I know how that sounds), I like to give one that we can share together and that gives us an opportunity to spend time together. Here are some ideas for doing that.
- Go out to eat. You can just verbally invite your friend to a meal paid for by you, write it in a card or give them a gift card. If you choose the gift card, they might use it without you. I usually do the verbal thing. I’m just not a card person.
- Buy tickets to an event you can do together. A movie, an art night at a painting instruction place, a concert, a spa day, a sporting event, bowling… anything that you both like or something new you can try together. You might want to ask about skydiving before spending the money on that activity though.
- The best day ever! Inspired by Spongebob, invite your giftee for a fun-filled day! You can make it a surprise or you can tell them what you have planned. It works well either way.
Support good.
If you don’t do anything else, please think about this. Support good with every purchase you make. Take the time to educate yourself of the items you buy and where you’re buying them. Ask yourself a few questions:
Is this a fair trade item? (No unethical treatment of people in the manufacturing process.)- Is this something I could purchase from a small business rather than a big chain store?
- Is this item good for the environment?
There are many ways to support good in your local community and globally. It does take a small amount of your time to do some research, but in the end, it makes the world a better place for all of us.
In closing… the longest blog post ever…
I guess after this post, I shouldn’t expect anyone to get me any gifts. Does this make me difficult to buy for? No, not really. My kids and I have a Christmas giving rule. We don’t participate too much in the consumerism part of the season. We buy stuff when we want it or need it, going through our regular frugal, no impulse buying systems.
Have a very merry Christmas, or any happy shopping related holiday, shopping for good. :)