Let me start by saying I’ve never been homeless. Rethinking homelessness for me is knowing there are people in really tough situations without a home, and knowing I’m a few paychecks away from the same thing. I’m a middle-aged single mom, living in a nice suburban home in what is considered to be a wealthy area. Many people think it’s odd that I ponder this social issue so frequently.
In my community, there are no homeless people on the street corners with cardboard signs, nor are there people living under the overpasses. There are no visible signs of homelessness in many suburban areas, so does that mean homelessness doesn’t exist there? How about poverty in the wealthy suburbs, is that non-existent in suburbia? No. Suburban homelessness does exist. It’s an invisible, underground world, where belonging in your own community is a fairytale and where your very existence is illegal.
What am I doing to rethink homelessness?
I’m going out to live as a suburban homeless person for 2 weeks. Unlike my other challenges where I was experimenting with things in my own life, this challenge is an effort to understand a world I have never known. Doing this for two weeks will give me a better idea of the struggles, but will NEVER give me a complete understanding of what it’s like to actually be homeless. I have an exit date and will go back to my house, my kids, my job and my ‘normal’ suburban life, hopefully with a better understanding of how I can help people that are homeless.
Here’s another way to look at it. I’m a single mom. Let’s say a married woman with a couple of kids wanted to know what it’s like to be a single mom. She sends her husband away for 2 weeks and simulates single-mom finances, childcare and other things as much as possible for that time period. If after that 2 weeks she says, “Oh, I completely get what it’s like to be a single mom…” I would want to punch her lights out. Metaphorically speaking, of course. :) However, if she did it to better understand the struggles, without claiming to understand completely what it’s like, that would be acceptable. If her motivation was to help single moms, that would be good.
I will never understand being without a home unless I’m actually homeless, however I can better understand the struggles resulting from it.
Why?
I get this question a lot. When people hear that you have a vacation, they immediately want to know what you have planned. “You have 2 weeks off work? Awesome! Are you going somewhere?” I tell (some of) them that I’m going to live as a suburban homeless person for 2 weeks. First, I get the look of shock and confusion, shortly followed by the “Why?” question, then the suggestions of how I should make this process comfortable, as to not stray too far from my real life. I find some of the questions and comments… I’m not sure what word to use here. You decide.
“Why don’t you do this when the weather is nice?”
“Why don’t you do this in another state, like near a beach?”
“You’ll pack a bunch of food and supplies, right? You can take a bunch of books and catch up on your reading.”
“You’re crazy.”
“That is so dangerous. Will you take a gun or pepper spray? Aren’t you worried about all of the bad things that could happen?“
“I think this is a horrible idea and offensive to homeless people that really are homeless.”
“Where will you sleep? You’re going to have to look homeless. You’re going to have to look dirty and dress sloppy.”
If these comments aren’t enough to answer the “why” question, I don’t know what will be. I think we could all use an education on the suburban homelessness topic. Our economy is not going to miraculously turn around and have any stability. Suburban homelessness is situational in most cases. It’s caused by job loss and the lack of available jobs. It’s people like you and me. People that have job skills. People that want to work. And yes, I’m aware that some people choose to be homeless and there are those that “work the system,” but show me a system that is so perfect, nobody is working it.
I guess some of the questions could have been rhetorical, although I doubt that. Here’s my responses.
“Why don’t you do this when the weather is nice?” Really? I’m sure none of my homeless friends got to choose that time of year they became homeless, much less got out of it before the next hot or cold season began.
“Why don’t you do this in another state, like near a beach?” If I was really homeless, I doubt I would have gas money to get to the beach. When I say vacation, I’m referring to the time away from work, not the Corona commercial version.
“You’ll pack a bunch of food and supplies, right? You can take a bunch of books and catch up on your reading.” No. No entertainment, no comforts of home and no food. I will also have little or no money and no emergency cash.
“You’re crazy.” Tell me something I don’t know.
“That is so dangerous. Will you take a gun or pepper spray? Aren’t you worried about all of the bad things that could happen?” Maybe I should be worried, but I’m not. A friend gave me some pepper spray and I’m not packing a gun. I can shoot a gun but I’m not licensed to carry one. I’m taking precautions, but the bigger question is why we aren’t worried for the real homeless people that have to deal with this everyday?
“I think this is a horrible idea and offensive to homeless people that really are homeless.” It could be taken that way, however I think this gives me a platform to speak to people about this issue and I really think I can make a difference. One of my friends who is homeless says he’ll be amazed if I stick to this for the whole 2 weeks. Of the few people I’ve talked to that are homeless or have been homeless, they’re surprised that I want to do this, but they don’t seem offended. I’m not doing this as a one-night publicity stunt or in a group “street retreat” for a few of days.
“Where will you sleep? You’re going to have to look homeless. You’re going to have to look dirty and dress sloppy.” In my car. And how does one “look homeless” in suburbia? You look homeless by not looking homeless. It takes work to find food and to stay clean, especially when you’re sleeping in your car.
It’s exhausting trying to explain all of the whys, because there’s just not a simple way to do it, but I’ll tell you what I’m trying to accomplish by doing it.
What do I hope to accomplish?
I’m going to try and organize my thoughts on this into a few bullet points. There are so many things to be accomplished.
I met a couple while on vacation a few weeks ago, and as I was telling them what I was planning to do, I said something to the effect of, “If I help even one homeless person or give a better understanding to someone that’s not homeless, that will make it worthwhile.” I was surprised at the reaction I got from my comment. The husband exclaimed, “No! You should think way bigger than that!” After explaining how he prayed for one person’s life to be changed through a situation of his own, he said, “I should have thought bigger than that.” So, I’m looking to reach about one million people.
Understand homelessness. To impact anything, you must understand it. I have to admit, I am curious to see what it will be like to live as a homeless person does. More than that, if I want to help, I need to understand it better. I can study homelessness, read about it, interview people and volunteer at a shelter, but I’ll be able to communicate better with some first-hand knowledge. Let me say this again though, I will not “get it” completely because I am not homeless. I will gain a better understanding of the struggles associated with being homeless.
Brainstorm ways to help. I have no lofty goals of making political changes and I don’t have lots of money, like on Secret Millionaire, to support or start programs. What I do have is a passion for helping homeless people, and I believe I can help through other people.
Do you personally know someone who has been homeless? Do you know someone who has lost their job in the past year? Do you know someone in poverty? Do you know someone that lost their home in a foreclosure? In this day and age, I would be shocked if anyone could say no to any of these questions.
There are many ways to help, not just financial, but many other ways. Help create jobs, support businesses that are doing good in the community, heck, just be nice to that guy sitting alone at Starbucks. He may not have a home.
Create awareness. This is the big one. We always have a fear of what we don’t know. I’ve had a few homeless friends over the past year, and even as I got to know them, I was never 100% sure of how to help. I believe if all of us had a better understanding of what it’s like to be homeless and realize the difference between us and them is a job, we would be more inclined to help.
I think I’ve written enough. You get the picture. I will not have computer access while doing this. Yes, I know I can go to the library for this purpose, but I’m not going to. I have some leftover notebooks that my kids partially used during the last school year. I’ll journal in those.
Do you have any thoughts or questions? Please share them here.