Let me start by asking a few of the big questions here.

Is re-gifting good or bad?

Is it okay to get rid of a gift?

Should you ever give a used gift?

I think people mostly view these as bad things, and although there’s no simple answer to these questions, there are some instances when they’re good.  Let’s first look at the anatomy of a gift.

Okay, so there’s no image that perfectly represents all gifts, as they’re as different as snowflakes.  “It’s the thought that counts…” is the first thing you hear about gifts.  If this is true, then is re-gifting or giving away a gift you received considered symbolic of the thought, the gift, both or neither?  I suppose it all depends on the gift itself, the person that gave it to you, the occasion and the thought behind it.  Again, there’s no easy answer.

I’m blogging on this topic, as it’s been on my mind a lot as I downsize.  I have gotten rid of things people have given me, and yes, even put them on my blog.  I won’t lie, it feels a little weird, but at least it’s honest.  I haven’t re-gifted anything, probably because I don’t really get many gifts.  Don’t get me wrong here, I actually like this gift status.  I’m not married, my kids are young and I don’t have any family close by to share holidays with.  Considering that I’m not a fan of holidays, this works fine in my life.  But when I do get a gift, it’s usually something meaningful. 

Here’s some criteria I apply, not only to re-gifting, but also to getting rid of received gifts and giving used gifts.  Don’t judge me, we’ve all done it, I’m just choosing to publicly talk about it.  ;)

Everyone is different. The first thing you must know is that people are different.  We all see things through our own life experiences and have our own opinions.  In a situation where I might see regifting as keeping something unwanted out of a landfill, another person might see that as deplorable.  I believe the thought process of seeing it as good or bad rests solely on the item itself.  If we got an ugly tie or a cheesy gift set, we might see it as bad.  What if we got a plasma tv or an iPad?  It probably wouldn’t bother us as much.

Shhh, it’s a secret. Let’s face it.  If regifting was a really good idea, we wouldn’t make it secretive act of giving.  It’s not the most socially acceptable thing to do, but we know it happens.  Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Handmade gifts. I love receiving handmade gifts, as it’s a form of art.  I recently received a beautiful handmade gift, a sculpture made from God’s nature pallet.  Much thought and meaning went into it and I would never even consider getting rid of it.  A good rule though is to never regift something handmade.  You might want to store the kids macaroni art in plastic tubs though, you know, so the bugs won’t eat it.

Quick, set it out, mom is coming over! At some point, you should probably have a conversation with mom.   My mom loves to buy lots of little useless stuff, and she’s very passionate about all of it.  I had to have the big, ugly conversation that I don’t love lots of little plastic junk and please stop buying it for me and the kids.  I am capable of loving someone without being surrounded by lots of little things they think I need.  I give away pretty much everything she gives me.  Even knowing that, she chose to give me more stuff.  I don’t need a swiss army umbrella, makeup or a crystal platter with a snowman on it.  I haven’t found a way to repurpose makeup.

Regifting gifts. If you’re going to do this, you need to be smart about it.  The bottom line here is that it’s really not too nice, as it’s a way to dispose of a gift you don’t want while saving your own money not to buy a gift.  In a few rare cases, you may get something you don’t want, but you know someone that would love to have it.  You could regift in this situation and it would be good.

A few etiquette rules apply here in order to not hurt anyone’s feelings.  Don’t regift to the person that gave it to you.  I actually had someone do that to me.  It felt bad.  Also, don’t regift to the friend of a person that gave you the gift.  Avoid the awkward situation of your friends even having to wonder if you’re a regifter.  If you regift, don’t use the same wrapping paper (if it was wrapped) and make sure the item is still new.

Another type of regifting is donations.  If you get a gift you know you’re not going to use or you don’t like it, donate it to someone that needs it.  Home decor, small appliances and clothing are always needed at thrift stores.  This type of regifting can bless others that might need something you have, it keeps you from being a hoarder and in some cases, can be a tax write off.

It’s the thought that counts. Keep this in mind when deciding to get rid of a gift.  Even though store bought stuff mass produced and can be bought anywhere, it can still be meaningful.  Use good judgement when choosing to give away a gift you’ve received.  Timing is important.  If you’ve had an item for a long time and it’s not a keepsake, it’s probably okay to let it go.  Just donate it instead of throwing things in the trash.  Freecycle is good, even for broken things.  If you know the person would be hurt by you getting rid of something, would it be bad to keep it for a while?  Probably not.  Good luck with that hideous scarf though.  Are you going to wear it?

How would you feel? Turn the situation around.  How would you feel if you gave this to someone and they got rid of it?  I don’t give a lot of gifts, as I would rather take someone out to eat and spend time with them, or something like that.  But if I do happen to give a gift, I give it free and clear.  If they don’t like it or want it, I don’t have an attachment to it.  I don’t want to impose my style or unwanted things on anyone.  I realize I’m not the norm here, but that’s okay.

Can you give used gifts? This is the really big question.  In the past, giving something used was considered awful and in poor taste.  In current times, with eBay, craigslist and freecycle, that has changed.  My friend gave me a knit scarf for Christmas.  Knowing how I am, she told me it was used and came from freecycle.  Because of my beliefs and no retail shopping, that meant much more to me than if she had bought one at a store.  And no, this is not the hideous one.  This one is now my favorite scarf and it’s a great story to tell when I wear it.

I’m not sure I answered any of the questions, but hopefully it some good stuff to think about.  Life is about people, not stuff.  Most gifts have this anatomy…

Whatever you decide to do with a gift, please keep this in mind.  If someone is thinking about you, and they gave you a gift, the thought that counts came from their heart.